It was the moment I had been waiting for all week; I was finally getting something.
I remember fondly of the times when I could just sketch without a worry, as soon as my pencil hit the paper the designs would just come to me and my client's smiles would grow with each stroke.
I was envisioning toy soldiers, a UFO play house and endless hours of fun for my newest client; A seven year old boy. He told me it's his "dream to be a space man" and a space man he shall be in his new room. I had drawn out several other sketches for his room but none of them would compare to this; it was all coming together in my head and I couldn't scribble down my ideas quick enough.
The scratching of my pencil against the paper was oh-so satisfying and possibly even therapeutic in a strange way to me because it meant only one thing; I was "in the zone."
"Sis...?"
A quiet murmur silenced my pencil and I turned in my chair to find my sister distancing herself from the table with that familiar innocent look on her face; she wanted something.
She knows not to interrupt me when I am working and seeing as this had been the first time in the week I had been able to focus I was overcome with anger, she's my baby sister and so this feeling was very alien to me but I couldn't help myself. I needed an outlet for this build up of emotion and she just happened to bug me at the wrong time.
After uselessly balling at her for a good ten minutes she finally got in an edge way;
"I thought it would have been fun, OK?"
With that she stormed out of the loft and retreated downstairs. I suppose I did go over the top, after all she did only want me to help her prepare the night's dinner. I'm a confessed workaholic and growing up I never really had time to be with my sister - I am considerably much older than her and I had to take on the responsibility of adulthood early in her life.
I stood alone in my bedroom, staring at the ground as a wave of embarrassment hit me. My sister doesn't have a bad bone in her body and yet I couldn't control my anger towards her.
I've been so frustrated with my lack of work lately, going an entire week without getting anything prepared for a client is unheard of in my case; for the past ten years I've worked my way up the ladder and am now a household name when it comes to redesigning rooms and my clients put their trust in me.
I just wanted to get my sketches done for that little boy, he seemed so pleased that he would be getting a room all to himself but I should have known better...
After twenty minutes of sulking at my sketching table I came to the conclusion that the sudden creative flow I had been having wouldn't be coming back for the night and so I made my way downstairs to help my sister prepare dinner, although I was hesitant at first.
However I had spent so much time mulling over the argument we had that she was already finished and dishing out the salad. So I just sat there feeling completely useless. Her boyfriend Darren tried to break the silence in the room by telling everyone about his new promotion at work but neither I nor my sister are all too interested in how cars work so his enthusiasm fell on deaf ears.
I felt like a total idiot for what I had said to my sister and was too ashamed to take my usual seat next to her at the breakfast table instead I took the solitary seat by my working table and reviewed the files of my client hoping to read something that would spark an interest, but there was nothing.
I could hear the buzz that was my Sister and her Boyfriend had talking behind me but I didn't feel like talking, or eating really. I just sat for a while and listened intently to the cute conversations they have with one another, but that just made me feel even worse.
I followed my sister into the living room, both of us leaving Darren to clean up the dishes, and proceeded to give her the most heart-felt apology possible from me. I'm not really one to be sensitive with anyone other than my sister - so she gets special treatment from me all the time and telling her that I didn't mean what I said to her lifted her spirit. Her smile was infectious - I was still feeling down - I couldn't help but smile back.
I decided to call it a night and head up to my room when Darren and Madi got a bit too intimate for my liking. You could say I am rather protective of my baby sister and so it took me a while to warm up to the man she is now macking lips with and as you can imagine I am not sticking around for the show.
It was rather uncomfortable for me when I first moved in with my sister and her boyfriend; I thought taking up residence in their converted loft would have made things easier since I didn't get along too well with Darren then but it didn't make the ride any less bumpier. Especially when there were sights like these.
Once again I attempted to complete the sketch I had started earlier but it was to no avail so I decided to kill some time by connecting with the world outside and watching the News. Usually I don't have time to pick up a newspaper or flick on the TV, I don't find it all too interesting really but tonight my mind just wasn't in the right place; I couldn't focus on anything remotely important.
The TV didn't do much for me and I turned it off not long after it had heat up and got some life back into it. I don't even know why I have that useless thing anyway - I hardly use it. I filled my time with taking a long, hot bath; thinking about what I'd do tomorrow. My working hours are pretty flexible but I needed to get back into the groove of things so settled upon revisiting my clients house and taking some measurements, maybe finding a little inspiration from his room as it is.
Still feeling oddly down I finally went to bed but whether I would actually sleep was something else.
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